Feeling Weird While Standing In Line At Qdoba

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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I’ve wanted one of these Camo Ranger hats for a hot minute now, but it’s one of those things where I just know I’ll feel weird wearing one while standing in line at Qdoba, you know? I mean, if my life was a little more pastoral and a little less grocery-shopping-and-hitting-up-Target-for-Hanes-tees-on-the-weekend this hat would be a no brainer. I’m pleading with all you dudes out there, can we make wearing hats like these a normal thing again? That way I won’t feel like the ill douche monster while checking out the samples at Costco. I know you’re probably thinking, “Damn, this dude eats a lot of fast food and shops at shitty stores un-ironically.” But you know what? SO DO YOU. Or you want to, but you’re a slave to social pressures and trying to trick women into thinking you’re a catch. MY GIRL APPRECIATES ME FOR ME EVEN IF THAT MEANS I EAT THINGS THAT DO NOT OCCUR NORMALLY IN NATURE.

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