How You Like Them Apples?

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Arc'teryx Veilance makes this fancy fucking tote bag. I own a regular ass Arc'teryx shell and that thing is tech as fuck. It even has a cool avalanche sensor in case I get buried underneath several feet of snow. SHIT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE JASON BOURNE AND NOT JEREMY RENNER JASON BOURNE, I'M TALKING "HOW YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?" JASON BOURNE. And now, thanks to this tote, your heritage rutabagas and turnips can be like Jason Bourne too. And don’t question me about buying root vegetables in the winter. Them joints are grown specifically as winter crops. I KNOW MY GARDENING, MOTHERFUCKERS.

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