For A Day At The Beach, But Really Not For A Day At The Beach

This wireless speaker from B&O Play boasts 120W of "detailed output". Apparently, that's pretty good in the world of portable speakers, which frankly it should be given its $800 price tag. I like how the copy on Mr. Porter says that this is perfect for outdoor entertaining or a day at the beach, like I'm about to roll up to a crowded beach function in Long Island with a speaker that costs this close to a stack, throw it down amidst sand, empties and general reckless beach fuckery like it's nothing. Have you lost your fuckin' mind?