20 Totally Depressing Revelations You Will Have In Your 20’s

For most people, being in your twenties means being poor and trying new things. But mostly just being poor. Sometimes, you’ll wake up from a sort of sweat-soaked fever dream, thinking you can hear God, when really it’s just your kung-pow chicken that is speaking to you.

“Why are you so happy when everything is so shitty?” he says.

But before you can answer, he tells you that everything is awful and that you should be miserable. He reminds you of your student loan debt and of rising gas prices and that Chris Martin of Coldplay is still alive. And every once in a while you get a particularly profound epiphany that changes the way you view the world.

Matt Rimer is a writer living in Boston. Follow him on Twitter here.

27 Responses to “20 Totally Depressing Revelations You Will Have In Your 20’s”

  1. Christopher Mescudii

    this is the most depressing shit i have ever read. fuck you very much.

    Reply
  2. Ematic

    I’m 22 and still optimistic even though hell is reigning down around me. I know this to be temporary.

    Reply
  3. intellex

    wish you would have made this more for both gender but nevertheless a good (but depressing as hell) read

    Reply
    • Meg

      Did you read no 7? This cretinous fuckwit is a 20-something guy, therefore this IS a depressing read for both genders.

      Reply
  4. filthy frank

    i dont know about feeling this way in your 20s…..more like in your 30’s…then again i smoked alot of weed the last few years in my 20s so when i finally stopped…i was kinda like “fuckit” or maybe that was just the marijuana leaving my system…but im 30 now, i have a son and i feel fine..

    Reply
  5. R

    This article is awful. I’m never gonna sleep with another high schooler? Thank god.

    Reply
  6. Zootii

    Yup. As if I were making some sort of turn around in my dog-poop-filled yard of a life, I’m now reminded that if I die tomorrow, it will probably be better than the next seven years I get to claim a two in the beginning of my age. It’s like eight at night and I want to sleep for about four months after reading this. Seriously, I already look thirty. I’ve BEEN about sweatpants for like three years. I’m just sorta smart so I catch on to stuff quick enough to not look like a nob. I feel fifty and like I need to retire soon. What happened to my life!?

    Reply
  7. prickasso

    “Ronald McDonald’s friend with Down syndrome, Grimace”

    lolling face at this one… APPLAUSE APPLAUSE APPLAUSE (I LIVE FOR THE APPLAUSE-PLAUSE LIVE FOR THE APPLAUSE-PLAUSE)

    Reply
  8. Casey Moore

    I guess I’m a odd ball then since my life has only gotten better in my 20’s and my dreams are getting closer to completion lol

    Reply
  9. Ke32

    What is with people taking these articles so literally? This is meant for entertainment and I found it funny as hell.

    Reply

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