You've Been Trumped

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Donald Trump's uncanny ability to trick the American people into thinking he is some arbiter of high-end luxury and taste is so mind blowingly dumbfounding that you almost have to applaud the guy before punching him square in the dick. I'm not sure of anyone in history that has gotten so rich off of, well, being fucking rich. Trump is as much of a brand as any celebrity these days—from seminars to television to a clothing line licensed through Macy's. All of it is lowest common denominator shit that would utterly embarrass its customer if they knew better in the first place, which they don't. And that's why Trump's name and stupid face are all over his terrible clothing line. There's even a Signature Collection for idiots looking to waste even more of their hard-earned money. Granted, Trump most likely has absolutely nothing to do with the creation of the clothing line that bears his name, but the fact that his name is on the label is as good a reason as to point the (middle) finger. Point being, in an alternate universe utopian society that mirrors our own, in which Donald Trump was never born, we wouldn't have to write this. Listen, If Four Pins had a "Dickhead Of The Week" column (fuck, we should really get on that), The Donald would sweep week in and week out. But we don't. So instead, on the heels of nearly half a million people demanding that Macy's dump Trump, let's shit all over the immeasurably black soul that sits at the very heart of the Donald J Trump menswear collection with some accurate product descriptions.

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