If Your Dad Is A Hipster

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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Kindling Quarterly is just fucking weird, man. A quarterly dedicated to fatherhood? And cool fatherhood at that? SHIT, I BET MOST OF OUR DADS JUST WANT TO RELAX AND BE LEFT ALONE FOR LIKE, 45 MINUTES. THEY DON’T WANT TO HAVE TO REFLECT ON THE CONCEPT OF RAISING A LIFE. But shout out to the publishers of this rag because, clearly, to be a good dad your kids’ clothing game better be on point. And if you can’t grow rad facial hair I’m not sure how you were able to purchase this magazine LET ALONE grow half a kid in your balls because every idiot knows that a BEARD = COOL DAD. The thing about being a cool dad is that your kids don’t give two fucks about how cool or not cool you are and no magazine is ever going to change that. Kids are always going to hate their parents and think they are lame. That's just nature's way of tell you that you're OLD. They also don’t understand why you would try to force them to wear fair isle prints and cords with Wallabees when all they really want to wear are those shoes that light up when they walk and a spider man T-shirt. Or whatever fucking superhero is hot in the streets these days. DON’T PROJECT ON YOUR KIDS. I’d love it if my kids wore baby selvedge and tiny vintage chore coats, but knowing my luck they'd want True Religions and tees with Calvin pissing on a Honda logo or some shit.

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