The Four Pins Guide To Surviving "Strugglemania"

Image via Complex Original

DO NOT QUIT YOUR DAY JOB. All caps cause you smart dumb newjacks need that extra special hint. The perfect time to quit your day job is never. I mean, if you're going to go for it, and I hope you do, then get it in your dome that there will never be some "clouds parting with 17 naked Beyonces holding Foamposites epiphanous moment". There's probably some self-help freelance book that will attempt to convince you that you can prepare for that transitional moment. They are lying. There won't be a perfect moment. You're gonna have to just jump off that cliff at some point and hope like hell you don’t sink. Conversely, if you go from freelance to full time, don't quit your freelance. Try to manage both as best you can. You might have to change up the amount of hours you can dedicate to the side jobs, but try and keep both going. Case and point, yours truly is penning these golden scriptures at 10:47 pm on a Wednesday night after working a full day where I was in and out of jargon filled meetings, whilst also writing copy for hella bourgeois makeup brands. It isn't enough that I gotta deal with a creative director talking to me about customer "need states," while he's balancing on a longboard, but I also have to come home and produce inspirational life changing hustle-almanacs for you to better yourself.

If you're just getting your feet wet, allow me to do you a real solid favor that someone once did for me. YOU aren't that tight at what you do. I know, you prolly think I'm just on my older brother vibes, but I can assure you that in the beginning we all are a little, how should I put this, NOT POPPIN’. You don't really have a wave. You're more like a ripple. But don't trip because you're not the most hyped up freelance [insert craft here] in the game. No one gives a shit and it’s something you can use to your advantage. This is the best time to make all your wild bad business decisions and rookie mistakes. Why? Because no one will remember. Treat this like your awkward haircut phase. Right now your flow is looking a bit busted and not that stylish. Give it time. Things will change. After you start clocking major racks then you can buy numerous lavish imported shampoos and cream rinses for that doo.

At this point you think you got it all figured out—you’re making your own work schedule, you don't have a boss or a shitty commute. You out smarted everyone. They are all sheep and your’re the big swag wolf, huh? Nah, dawg. Sure, these are all actual benefits of the freelance grind, but it comes at a cost. And that cost is you most likely being dead ass broke. Not crazy broke per se, but more like the type of broke where if you got drunk and accidentally bought some shit you seent on Four Pins, you just depleted any chances of treating yourself to a meatball pepperoni at Subway. You ain't gonna have that impulsive floss money. You ain't getting guac in the Chipotle line. You’ll probably do some ill shameful culinary shit like lick out the inside of a peanut butter jar like you're on molly. EMBRACE THOSE MOMENTS. Make little thugspritaional notes to yourself. When you find yourself stealing your step aunt's stash of toilet paper, that's when you know you're a full-fledged member of Strugglemania. Oh yeah, remember medical insurance? Go ahead and wave goodbye to your plans of kayaking while extreme Instagramming.

Whether you’re freelance or full time, you will never escape the pleasure that is "the client". Clients are a major paradox. They are the reason you don't have to clock into a cubicle death camp, but they are the very same fucktards that lead to your creative roid rage. If you are allergic to bullshit I would probably suggest getting out of the freelance pool right now. Get ready for all kinds of antics as The Client is a slippery foe mastered in the art of tomfoolery. They do not adhere to rules of logic, fairness, ethics or basic levels of common ass sense.

You are asked to design a logo. They say they want it to look exactly like a logo they show you. You mock it up. You add in a few variations because you were half turnt up on some espresso. You send off the comps of the various logos including the one they requested. The client says, "We love it!" 

Then you get this email:

Hey Skip, 

We were all going over the logo and the team (read: two dudes in bootcut jeans) agreed that the logo looks too similar to this one (attached is the logo they specifically asked you to copy).

Cheers,

Struggle Inc.

Welcome To Fuck This Shit, City, Population: You.

There is no silver bullet for dealing with clients. Since they don't honor logic it is impossible to prepare for these scenarios. I'll say this, the more professional you conduct yourself and the less "bro bro" you are with them, then the less likely they are gonna try to treat you sideways. Use a contract, establish expectations and scope, use sentences with SAT words and maybe even some commas and shit. I'm not saying you need to wear a tucked in golf shirt, but keep it 100 as much as possible and it will help you in the long run.

This wisdom bullet definitely deserves to go triple platinum, so follow me. For some reason, people/companies think that just because you are freelance that you work for free ninety nine. Oh word? You just want me to be on call two weeks straight for this project, but if I even mention the beginning syllable of "money" your whole operation Houdini's itself and relocates to Antarctic? Sometimes a contract helps. And sometimes it doesn't help at all. I will tell you all right now, nobody at that company that owes you $328 dollars is losing even 42 seconds of sleep over not paying you. Here is the actual number of invested parties that care about making sure you are promptly paid the full amount: minus negative infinity plus 13 sad faces multiplied by 5 U Mad? memes.

Even though I just hit the bullseye with the factology, there are some things you can do:

1. Be polite

It has never hurt my cause ever. Kill them with kindness and all that Zig Ziglar shit. It takes a real reptilian type person to use your politeness as an excuse not to pay up.

2. Half up front

This doesn't solve the WHOLE issue, but it's a good ice breaker for both parties—they give you a little somethin' somethin' to hold on to so you can go buy yourself a new pair of socks and it provides some inspo to get working on something solid. More importantly, you just got them to fiscally acknowledge that what you do is worth spendable currency.

3. Use a phone

It may be 2013 or whatever, but this one is still pretty damn effective. People can screen your texts, e-mails, nudes and all that, but if you can get them on the line you can catch any coward off guard that has been successfully e-ducking you and get your luccini sent over in the stretch Mazda Miata with the bowling lane slash dolphin tank in the back.

You're gonna need some work to put in work and it's not that hard to get work to simply build your portfolio. Regardless of how many people are claiming that they are waking up in new Bugattis, we are still in the midst of a solid recession. The easiest starting point? Friends. I mean, is there anyone else you’d even consider hooking up pro bono? They say business and friends don't mix, but that's when there is money involved. Come at this like opportunity like you're offering to help them move into their new apartment. Don't promise anything, just ask them if they are interested in letting you try out some shit that you want to use for your portfolio. DONE.

Beyond simply building a portfolio, there is something worth saying about doing things "on the strength". A lot of my best work I actually gave away. Not cause I'm on some Bob Marley T-shirt and shark tooth necklace vibes, but because I saw the bigger picture. If you get the opportunity to do some work for a brand, company or person that has an established rep or is on the come up in your field and they tell you it's not a paid gig, say YES. Opportunity only knocks once/life is short/you only live once/that one song from 8 Mile/whatever other feelgoodery bullshit you need to tell yourself to understand the concept.

In case you live in Croatia, this isn't the first time I have broached the subject of networking.

I won't spend a great deal of time on the matter, but networking is pretty clutch if you're trying to not eat mac n' cheese for three meals on the daily. Like with anything, no one on earth wakes up thinking about you. My Mom swears she thinks the world of me and I can't get that woman to call me unless she has some ridiculous question like, "Who is the guy that does that thrift shopping song?" No one gives a shit about your lack of work unless you make them. Email people INDIVIDUALLY. Take the time to craft an email that is specific to them. Maybe even hit them with a little bit of flattery. Really, anything that can help keep you in the front of their mind when it comes to suggesting your skills for a gig is worth doing. Here's another tip from Camp Obvious As Fuck: If a friend recommends you for a gig, try doing a good ass job. Sorry if your mind just went BOOM, but I like to assume most people are crazy dumb, mostly cause X Factor is a popular show and there are WNBA season ticket holders. Do your best and you will further your rep, help reinforce your homie's rep and you—OH SHIT—might get another gig.

It's impossible to cover all the case specific aspects of freelancing and the multi-layered tenets of Strugglemania, but keep these basics in mind and you'll be better equipped to first class cruise these turbulent skies.