Have you ever tried to land a girl who’s not that into you? For most of us guys, a couple of discouraging “K” or “You remind me of my brother” or “Sorry, I have a boyfriend” texts will be enough reason for us to throw in the towel. You’ll dismiss her as “definitely a lesbian” and move on to someone else. But every once in a while, you’ll find a girl who you don’t want to give up on so easily. She’s worth fighting for. She’s “the one” you tell yourself. You channel your sixth grade gym teacher who told you, “Winners never quit and quitters never win! Now climb that rope before I cut bacon off your back, chub scout!” (Maybe he was kind of a dick in retrospect). All you know is, you’re going to make her fall in love with you or die tryin’ (that’s a 50 cent song, right?). No matter how many times she ignores you or changes her phone number or files a retraining order, you just figure, “she’s just playing hard to get.” So you get out there and put it all out on the line, romancing like your life depended on it. Maybe the stuff you’re doing is a little crazy, but at least you’ll have a crazy story to tell your grandchildren forty years from now. Let's she how this will play out, sung to the tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas"...
Matt Rimer is a writer living in Boston. Follow him on Twitter here.
1. 12thdaylead
2. 1stday
On the first day of romance, I gave to my baby…
A Say Anything Peter Gabriel Boombox Serenade.
3. 2ndday
On the second day of romance, I gave to my baby…
2 Tickets To A DMX Show...
And A Say Anything Peter Gabriel Boombox Serenade.
4. 3thday
On the third day of romance, I gave to my baby…
3 Dinners At A Vaguely Japanese Discount Sushi Restaurant...
2 Tickets To A DMX Show...
And A Say Anything Peter Gabriel Boombox Serenade.
5. 4thday
On the fourth day of romance, I gave to my baby…
4 Jason Statham Movie Nights...
3 Dinners At A Vaguely Japanese Discount Sushi Restaurant...
2 Tickets To A DMX Show...
And A Say Anything Peter Gabriel Boombox Serenade.
6. 5thday
On the fifth day of romance, I gave to my baby…
5 BRAZEN DICK PICS...
4 Jason Statham Movie Nights...
3 Dinners At A Vaguely Japanese Discount Sushi Restaurant...
2 Tickets To A DMX Show...
And A Say Anything Peter Gabriel Boombox Serenade.
7. 6thday
On the sixth day of romance, I gave to my baby…
6 Condom Bouquets...
5 BRAZEN DICK PICS...
4 Jason Statham Movie Nights...
3 Dinners At A Vaguely Japanese Discount Sushi Restaurant...
2 Tickets To A DMX Show...
And A Say AnythingPeter Gabriel Boombox Serenade.
8. 7thday
On the seventh day of romance, I gave to my baby…
7 Acoustic Guitar Apologies At Her Place of Business...
6 Condom Bouquets...
5 BRAZEN DICK PICS...
4 Jason Statham Movie Nights...
3 Dinners At A Vaguely Japanese Discount Sushi Restaurant...
2 Tickets To A DMX Show...
And A Say Anything Peter Gabriel Boombox Serenade
9. 8thday
On the eighth day of romance, I gave to my baby…
8 Comments About That Cute Pic of Her I Found On Facebook From 2006...
7 Acoustic Guitar Apologies At Her Place of Business...
6 Condom Bouquets...
5 BRAZEN DICK PICS...
4 Jason Statham Movie Nights...
3 Dinners At A Vaguely Japanese Discount Sushi Restaurant...
2 Tickets To A DMX Show...
And A Say Anything Peter Gabriel Boombox Serenade.
10. 9thday
On the ninth day of romance, I gave to my baby…
9 “You Up?” Texts...
8 Comments About That Cute Pic of Her I Found On Facebook From 2006...
7 Acoustic Guitar Apologies At Her Place of Business...
6 Condom Bouquets...
5 BRAZEN DICK PICS...
4 Jason Statham Movie Nights...
3 Dinners At A Vaguely Japanese Discount Sushi Restaurant...
2 Tickets To A DMX Show...
And A Say Anything Peter Gabriel Boombox Serenade.
11. 10thday
On the tenth day of romance, I gave to my baby...
10 Intrusive Admissions of Love While She’s On A Date With Another Guy...
9 “You Up?” Texts...
8 Comments About That Cute Pic of Her I Found On Facebook From 2006...
7 Acoustic Guitar Apologies At Her Place of Business...
6 Condom Bouquets...
5 BRAZEN DICK PICS...
4 Jason Statham Movie Nights...
3 Dinners At A Vaguely Japanese Discount Sushi Restaurant...
2 Tickets To A DMX Show...
And A Say Anything Peter Gabriel Boombox Serenade.
12. 11thday
On the eleventh day of romance, I gave to my baby…
11 Threats of Suicide...
10 Intrusive Admissions of Love While She’s On A Date With Another Guy...
9 “You Up?” Texts...
8 Comments About That Cute Pic of Her I Found On Facebook From 2006...
7 Acoustic Guitar Apologies At Her Place of Business...
6 Condom Bouquets...
5 BRAZEN DICK PICS...
4 Jason Statham Movie Nights...
3 Dinners At A Vaguely Japanese Discount Sushi Restaurant...
2 Tickets To A DMX Show...
And A Say Anything Peter Gabriel Boombox Serenade.
13. 12thday
On the twelfth day of romance, I gave to my baby…
12 Flashmob Proposals Involving An Improve Group...
11 Threats of Suicide...
10 Intrusive Admissions of Love While She’s On A Date With Another Guy...
9 “You Up?” Texts...
8 Comments About That Cute Pic of Her I Found On Facebook From 2006...
7 Acoustic Guitar Apologies At Her Place of Business...
6 Condom Bouquets...
5 BRAZEN DICK PICS...
4 Jason Statham Movie Nights...
3 Dinners At A Vaguely Japanese Discount Sushi Restaurant...
2 Tickets To A DMX Show...
And A Say Anything Peter Gabriel Boombox Serenade.
