The real cornerstones of streetwear are the brick and mortar stores. These "Fortresses of Susitude" are the hollowed grounds where the proverbial "streetz" meet the literal "wear." Streetwear stores are the finish line at the end of your two day long sneaker urban camp out session—shops not only run by the sages of the street, but experts and scholars of customer service. So, when you've saved up all your shiny monies to go drop $60 on a T-shirt, you better be greeted by the best customer service in the Milky Fucking Way, right? Nah, dawgs.
Instead, you're going to treated like you have leprosy and you just walked into a Comcast Customer Complaint Center. Now you feeling real tight. Like, tighter than Kim K's cheek skin. But you ain't no punk. You're gonna say something. I mean, not at the store. And, no, definitely not to an actual employee. You're going to turn to the realest street shit you can: Yelp.
Yelp has, and will always be, the forum for failed anythings to complain about shit that has never mattered. Thus, it was only natural that I figured it would be a gold mine of #feelz for when streetwear consumer warriors found that they were not given a soldier's parade for their patronage. Here are 10 such amazing cases.
Skip Class is a writer living in Seattle. See more of his work here and follow him on Twitter here.
1. yelpstreetwearreview
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DQM (NYC)
Ummmmmm, that's a bit extreme don't you think, bud?
What sort of masochist says a store rapes you and then buys something? Not to mention, BACON Air Max 90's?
Swine, my brutha?
Shaking my damn head.
9. 8yelp
10. 9yelp
Supreme (NYC)
Welp Johnson, after that banger of a first sentence we know we are in for a real treat by this non-skating Asian. But he quickly makes up for it with an apology on behalf of the entire community of skateboarders in the New York City area.
I like how he lists Kermit The Frog as a person they've "worked with." DDDDDDDDDDDawgie, that's a fucking puppet.
A PUPPET.
Also, dude has to be in the running for Time Magazine's FUCCBOI OF THE YEAR for Yelp reviewing a store, while waiting in the line at said store.
11. 10yelp
