Among the biggest magazines in the world today is GQ, Four Pins' greatest rival and totally equal counterpart who is definitely aware that we exist. The cover of GQ is reserved for the most influential, sophisticated, dapper men of today, and also Lebron James three times for some reason because everyone makes mistakes.
While the editors' selections have, more or less, remained on point, we believe that there were a few celebrities GQ has unfairly left out—celebrities so poignantly groundbreaking in their cultural impact that it would be a crime to refuse them the recognition they so rightfully deserve. For this reason, we made the following list of 20 people we want to see on the cover of GQ right fucking now.
1. gqlead
2. terRio
TerRio
Internet sensation Lil TerRio, or the anthropomorphic chocolate peep you microwaved for too long, has been taking the world by storm in recent months, straight up kicking it with celebs and looking like a sunburned manatee, while laying low with corn-fed babes on the beach. Plus, he's probably going to be dead soon when diabetes eventually ooooh kills him, so don't be dicks, GQ. Help a poor kid get his final dying wish.
3. donald
Donnie Sterling
To be honest, I haven't really been following all of the buzz surrounding this guy lately, but man does he look good in a suit, taking the fashion game of elderly Jewish potbelly pigs and flipping it on its fucking face. Also, I read he's friends with Magic Johnson and likes to invite him to his games or something? I don't know. I kinda just skimmed a bunch of articles. All I know is that this guy is America's #1 hero right now. The people at GQ would be fools not to jump on this heartthrob while the iron's hot.
4. larrydavid
Larry David
Best known for his trailblazing of the cape back in the 1990's, the Bald Bomber has become a household name associated with class and grandeur. Wearing the same blue V-neck sweater and Simple sneakers in nearly episode over the course of of Curb Your Enthusiasm, Larry truly understands what it means to create your own style and stick to the essentials.
5. spikelee
Spike Lee
How has America's favorite novelty eyeglass aficionado been repeatedly snubbed by the communists down at the GQ headquarters? Racism, that's how.
Feature Story: "The Art of Calling Quentin Tarantino A Racist To Distract From The Fact That You Haven't Made A Good Movie Since Inside Man"
6. swaggyP
Swaggy P
And what does the "P" in his name stand for? It's one of life's mysteries. And GQ loves mysterious men. The ever mysterious Matthew McConaughey has been on the cover twice and I still haven't figured out if he's actually an acting genius or an idiot with a southern drawl. I guess that's a mystery too. My shot in the dark as to what the "P" means? Pope Francis. Illuminati shit. Everything's connected. Stay Woke.
Oh, and by the way…
7. popefrancis
Pope Francis
Pope Jeffrey Tambor is the most liked Pope in a dog's age. Although, I guess it wasn't hard following the impeached Richard Nixon/Emperor Palpatine of Popes, Benedict Arnold XVI. But let's be honest, this dude has swag falling out of his hairy, Argentinian Droopy Dog nose with his all-white coke lord clothes and his party monster hat getup. Plus, his whip has bulletproof windows, so you know he's legit. I think it's time to get Frank the Tank the GQ come up he deserves. Shit's practically God's will after all.
8. feeney
9. miketheruler
Mike The Ruler
He may look like Ralphie from A Christmas Story, but he dresses better than you do. This 13-year-old emperor of street style was recently awarded the title of "The Boy Prince of Cool" by New York Magazine and "Trillest Kid On The Internet" by the fine people here at Four Pins. When you were his age, you were struggling to hide your random erections with your gender ambiguous Lisa Frank folder. Mike hangs out with A$AP Rocky. This is The Ruler's world. We're just living in it.
10. skeeter
Skeeter
Mosquito Valentine was trill before trill existed. Crazy kneepads and big ass graphic tees, dude was whipping his dick all over the menswear scene while you were still in diapers. Skeeter is the perfect candidate for the magazine. Or maybe GQ isn't progressive enough to include a person of teal minority to their illustrious hall of cover models. Only time will tell.
P.S. He might have Asperger's.
Feature Story: "How To Get Away With Grabbing Boobies *Honk Honk*"
11. manziel
12. jonhamm
Awkward Jon Hamm Circa 1996
Recently, a video featuring a young Jon Hamm from a 90's dating game called The Big Date leaked across the web. Some of you haters out there probably think Hamm looked like a total squid. Me? Stud and a half. It might be 18 years too late, but he's got that classic GQ swag for days.
I’d even go so far as to say that he'd kill it better than the time modern Jon Hamm had his spot on the cover. OH WAIT, John Hamm has never been on the cover of GQ. Seriously though, how is that even possible?
13. beetlejuice
Robin Thicke
He's already an icon in the ridiculous suit game, and if you say his name three times, he'll appear out of nowhere and have non-consensual anal sex with the closest woman.
Robin Thicke, Robin Thicke, Robin Thicke! LEGGO!
14. boobama
Bo Obama
Bo, also known as "The First Dog," is a force to be reckoned with. This motherfucker's Wikipedia page is almost as long as Michelle's. Sasha and Malia don't even have Wikis.
While you're sitting on the toilet reading a fashion blog, Bo is traveling around the world being the ambassador of doggie style, slaying some purebred bitch's pussy. I, of course, don't mean to use the word "bitch" in a derogatory way. I'm just referring to the fact that these are female dogs he would be fucking. GQ's first ever canine cover is coming in hot, so watch your peanut butter dipped nuts.
15. earl
Earl Sweatshirt
Maybe in a few years he'll graduate high school and adopt a more mature stage name like Earl Cardigan or Earl Sweater Vest. I can only imagine GQ is waiting for that day, but until then, he'll just have to continue being the figurehead for horse dentures, or whatever it is he does now.
16. wheelchairjimmy
Wheelchair Jimmy
This guy was all the rage back when he was on Degrassi. Who knows what he's up to now. Somebody said he was rapping or something, but that can't be right. Anyway, this guy's got that classic GQ face for sure.
Feature Story: "How To 'Start From The Bottom' When You’re In A Wheelchair And Can't Stand Up"
17. actionbronson
Action Bronson
If they can get Bam Bam to put a motherfucking shirt on, I think he could be GQ material. You know, maybe just trim down around the waist and get a good clean shave in and he’s got gentleman written all over him.
Feature Story: "Looking Like The Motherfucking Bodyguard: Why You Won't Need A Bodyguard, But Still Might Want To Consider It 'Cause Look What Had Happened To Biggie"
18. soulja
19. robford
Rob Ford
Rob Ford lives life like most celebrities: coke binges, the occasional DUI, etc. It comes with the territory. That's why I'm not mad at him. I respect his game. If I were king of Toronto, or however government works in Canada, I'd do the exact same thing. Frankly, this is exactly the type of man that needs to be the cover of GQ. We don't need angle-faced nymphs like Benedict Cumberbatch. We need a man of confidence with eyes that scream, "I dabble in crack." We need Rob Ford and we needed him yesterday.
20. kimjong
21. terry
Terry Richardson
Terry Richardson is world famous for being a magazine photograph, but somehow he's never made the cover of one. I feel like if he stopped taking pictures of himself hooking up with heroin addict American Apparel models for, like, two fucking seconds, GQ might consider him. He's got that Hunter S. Thompson look going on with roughly a third of the talent, so that's something. Give Terry a chance, guys!