The Best And Worst Dressed (And Most Heavily On Steroids) At The 2014 NFL Draft

Image via Complex Original

No. 2: Greg Robinson, OT, Rams (Auburn)

Greg Robinson showed up in, like, a J.Crew suit, but with a bow tie and studs? This high low mix misses the point. Is he getting married on Martha's Vineyard?

No. 3: Blake Bortles, QB, Jaguars (UCF)

Let this be a lesson to all of you: tie width is everything. And by that we mean, Bortles's tie is fucking stupid. Also, where the fuck did homie cop a kitty cat Jaguar pin from that fast? That's actually kind of fire tbh.

No. 4: Sammy Watkins, WR, Bills (Clemson)

Can't really see dude's alphet, but we're not willing to give anyone the benefit of the doubt here.

No. 5: Khalil Mack, OLB, Raiders (Buffalo)

Ok, not totally fucking terrible, but the light blue suit with the burgundy tie is making dude look like some hotel furniture.

No. 6: Jake Matthews, OT, Falcons (Texas A&M)

Holy fucking tie knot.

No. 7: Mike Evans, WR, Buccaneers (Texas A&M)

Praise The Lord Jesus Christ Our Savior! That's the name of Mike Evans's new congregation in Tampa. Admission is $80/Month with a $500 initiation fee. Amen.

No. 8: Justin Gilbert, CB, Browns (Oklahoma State)

My mans Justin Gilbert is lookin' like he bought a suit for the Kentucky Derby but never got a chance to wear it.

No. 10: Eric Ebron, TE, Lions (North Carolina)

Smile big while you can Eric because you're headed to Detroit. That floral tie is the last bit of sunshine you're going to see for the next few years of your life.

No. 11: Taylor Lewan, OT, Titans (Michigan)

One weird equestrian detail away from being halfway decent, especially considering this dude is, according to my files, 7'8" and 550 lbs.

No. 12: Odell Beckham Jr., WR, Giants (LSU)

Who let Victor Cruz talk to this dude before the draft?

No. 14: Kyle Fuller, CB, Bears (Virginia Tech)

You're a slim guy, so your slim suit makes sense. It looks good, even! But why the fuck did you raid Obama's closet when it came to picking out a tie?

No. 15: Ryan Shazier, LB, Steelers (Ohio State)

I can't see much, but there's enough turquoise in the frame for me to confidently throw up a "nope, nah, no."

No. 17: C.J. Mosley, LB, Ravens (Alabama)

OK, now the casual bow tie shit is really starting to piss me off. If your name isn't Bill Nye, just cut that shit out.

No. 18: Calvin Pryor, S, Jets (Louisville)

Why did homie put a Cadbury Egg wrapper on his lapel? J-E-T-S! Your-Look-Really-Sucks!

No. 20: Brandin Cooks, WR, Saints (Oregon State)

"OMG yasssss! Drew Brees is my QB! Yasssss bitch yassss!"

No. 21: Ha Ha Clinton-Dix, S, Packers (Alabama)

Your name may be Ha Ha, but jokes on you, fuccboi. A dinner jacket? Seriously? You're now officially eating, sure, but c'mon, bro.

No. 22: Johnny Manziel, QB, Browns (Texas A&M)

Manziel's free fall might have been the big story last night and his suit says it all. He's already gearing up for when he takes a job as an ESPN analyst by week 7. Draft day, Johnny Manziel. 22 picks later, I don't think you're the man still.

No. 25. Jason Verrett, CB, Chargers (TCU)

Hair game Jar-Jar Binks. Suit game totally irrelevant because we all know the draft is trash by this point.

No. 31. Bradley Roby, CB, Broncos (Ohio State)

My guy is wearing what Justin Bieber would have worn if he ever went to prom.

No. 32. Teddy Bridgewater, QB, Vikings (Louisville)

I mean, who even gives a shit at this point? I guess, at the end of the day, these guys spend basically 100% of their time in performance gear and pads. Then again, wearing a suit is really not that fucking difficult, people.