The First Annual Four Pins Movie Awards

Yesterday, the nominations for the 86th Academy Awards were announced. While the Academy’s choices were certainly interesting, we couldn’t help but think that there were a few awards categories that they left out. No one cares about Best Sound Mixing—they just want to hear about boobs and drugs and what movie Ashton Kutcher is going to ruin this year. While the Academy may be too good to present awards for these superficial feats, I, on the other hand, have no dignity or shame. So, without further ado, I present to you the first annual Four Pins Movie Awards.

Matt Rimer is a writer living in Boston. Follow him on Twitter here.

  • Luke

    Strange you see Assange as an asshole . Especially when all he’s done is expose American atrocities

    • lovelessLP

      he is a rapist

      • Dave a

        Prove it dumbass

  • emi2994

    Formatting in this article is basic, guys.

  • Class A Rando

    Little known fact: Walt Disney was not only anti-Semitic, but was also a drug effective against nausea and vomiting

  • Howle

    Well this was shit.

  • MonkeyBalls

    This article is racist

  • Reddy

    @DJReddyFox … Kudos Matt Rimer!! This was funny. People griping about this article might be missing the point. And you clearly dislike VInce Vaughan almost as much as I dislike Nic Cage.

  • Crake

    Format your shit better Four Pins.
    You think Enron ever messed up basic ass stuff like that? NO cause that’s how they catch you fool. Basic motherfuckers.

  • Jean Touitou

    leonardo still doesnt have an Oscar