The Four Pins Guide To Overanalyzing Text Messages

Sometimes texts can be confusing. A person might send a text with a particular implication attached, but the subtly gets lost in translation. She says, "Don’t contact me again or I’ll call the police," but what does she really mean, ya know?

Luckily, the scientists here at the Four Pins research and testing facility have conducted a few experiments to perhaps shed light on some of the more confusing messages you'll receive throughout your life. Here, you'll find the most commonly assumed misinterpretation of a particular phrase, as well as what the sender actually intended to say. Who’d have known "I’ll call the police" is just her way of playing hard to get? See, you’ve learned something already!

Matt Rimer is a writer living in Boston. Follow him on Twitter here.

  • guest


  • LSP

    The fuck is this

  • JB

    #20. Girls’ phones are never actually in the other room. It’s a good excuse though.

  • n64

    If only people texted me :(

  • akabaloo


  • Evil Merino

    bay you finna see Lego Movie?

  • realtrehunnaJR Bow

    why so depressing though

  • Dinis

    How the actual fuck do you get “I’m taking a shit” from “I’m all wet”