My Family’s Best Rejected Four Pins Pitches

My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone affected by Hurricane Sandy. I was evacuated from my apartment in Hoboken, New Jersey late Sunday night and have been staying at my parents' house in northern New Jersey since then. The entire tri-state area has been dealing with unprecedented disaster and my parents have been nice enough to take in all the members of my family currently without power, heat and various other elements essential to life. I have no idea when I'll be allowed back into my place, as Hoboken currently lies beneath a river of contaminated shit and broken glass—the National Guard is still evacuating the headstrong bros who regarded Sandy as nothing more than one of their annoying ex-girlfriends. But, like some of those same annoying ex-girlfriends, she was actually a vindictive whore bent on complete and total annihilation. Being off the grid for an extended period of time has really disrupted my work flow. With our office building closed down until further notice and the Four Pins team scattered and struggling, the site has taken a hit. As the guy who pretends to run things around these parts, I've put on my best leadership hat and decided to soldier on for you, the readers. Since my loved ones have a cloudy idea, at best, of what I do for a living I figured it made perfect sense to gather them together for a quick Four Pins article brainstorming session. Presented, without tampering, are my family's best rejected Four Pins pitches.

  • Grant

    Damn, Lawrence can write like a mother fucker. Bulletproof. *deletes blog, closes laptop.

  • Matt

    Where are you in Hoboken?

  • JFK

    A couple I notes:

    1. I love the way Poppa S. thinks about generators; I’m totally about keeping a generator within an arms length to laugh at haters.

    2. But what if we really did rate Prezzys? Where would Polk rank?

    3. Feature the dog more. If it can somehow battle Moy (physically/psychologically), we’d love to see that.

    P.S. On a more serious note, it’s great to hear you guys are well. xoxo

    • JFK

      *A couple of notes #duh

      • Nick Grant

        Nah blood, you said “I notes”, that mistake will forever go down in internet fuck-up history. Kill yourself, James.

        P.S. I am so bored I am going to spam this whole site with comments.

        P.P.S. LAS you son of a bitch you better approve them all.

        • JFK

          Yo Nick, I literally LOL’d to that. Now go start an R&B group with Al B. Sure, you light skinded bastard.

  • Joe Mair

    Allow me to state for the record that y’all are crazy. But you guys crack me up on a daily basis. Keep medium pimping, gents.

  • Israel Daramola

    fools be sleep on the maxx

    momma knows

  • Tjay

    What ya’ll know about dat Maxx doe? Shieet, you can’t go wrong with some Ralph Lauren Polo shirts that are suspiciously low-priced.

  • EVB

    I actually thought you had interviewed MY dad on quotation 4 of 11. Dad’s know all about that generator game.