The Skirt: 10 Things You Need To Purge From Your Life Right Now This Very Second

"The Skirt" is an ongoing series in which Four Pins' resident lady friend, Rachel Seville, becomes the most important woman in your life.

It’s time for a life assessment. How old are you? 25? 12? 39? You are? Ok, seriously, it’s time. It’s time to assess the fuck out of your life.

You have two choices: Fast for two weeks, which is not starving, but just being healthy according to some weird caveman-inspired cooking show I am watching as I write this. Or, you purge yo’ life. Clean it out! Get rid of that toxic matter! Spring cleaning, but, like, for the mind, man. Chicken Soup for the Spring Cleaner? Spring Cleaning for the chicken soup cook? I don’t know or care how jokes work, except that I think once in a while you're supposed to make a Disney reference in an irreverent context to make women under 25 laugh, so let’s just cut straight to the chase and examine the ten things you need to get out of your life right here, right now, right this very second.

Rachel Seville is a writer living in New York who believes in miracles. Read her blog, Pizza Rulez, here and follow her on Twitter here.

  • ResearchIsKey

    That point and shoot you’ve got up is not your run of the mill cam your trying to diss…

    • neezy

      Agreed. Lots of photogs keep point and shoot cams just like the Powershot S110 with them for backup… And I fucks with some poetry hoe – Maya Angelou is my bitch.

  • Michael J. Miraflor

    I was all about this until you put a picture of a legit $370 Canon S110 as a generic “point and shoot”. GTFOH.

    • Lawrence

      Google Images.

  • Air In Pierce

    This is one of the stupidest “diss-lists” I’ve ever seen on Four Pins…

    • Rachel Seville

      hi i’m The Skirt most people don’t understand me or the music i like

    • lagerfelds_glasses


  • Dakota

    Wow, *yawn*. This was my first article on Four Pins and if this misinformed article represents this site–I’m not interested.

    • Lawrence

      Sounds like you have zero sense of humor, Dakota, so it was nice to know you, I guess?

    • Geoffrey

      Yeah theyre she’s totally not doing that on purpose. Or smarter than you.

  • Joe Berry

    seriously who writes this garbage… get a real job. You have bad taste and your opinions suck four pins. If it weren’t for complex somehow dragging me here somehow I would love to purge this website from my life. This site is written by a bunch of 12 year olds in skinny jeans…

    • Rachel Seville

      I’m 12 and A HALF, thanks.

    • Rachel Seville

      thank you for this comment…. it is just what I was looking for this afternoon. because of your commentary which is smart, I would like to share with you a special trick I use to make $1000 in just three weeks. Please visit my site and I will share it with you.

  • James

    Uh, okay. This is probably the dumbest thing I’ve read on this site so far.

    • Rachel Seville

      Hi James. I don’t know you personally, but I feel as if we’ve already met. And when I look around the room, there is a halo around you…but it’s a halo of negativity. Not everyone has to get rid of poetry and their points-et-shoot (French for “point and shoot”) but a lot of people in the world are wearing scuba suits of negativity that they need to unzip and swim free of. Imagine living life as a more nimble, freer person who runs a lot faster than you might think and gets invited to exclusive parties where magazines are read aloud and no one is wearing wigs! Wouldn’t that be great change? It is just an idea I had. Your Friend, Rachel

      • Chris

        You realize you write for a site that is devoted to hating, right? All this site does is either hate: something someone else is doing, or: oneself for not having the money/success/fame to afford the latest jawnz.

        4-pins is a god damned aquarium of negativity, if you’d like to continue the scuba gear metaphor (which was nice, I liked it.)

        • Lawrence

          Chris, honestly, I feel bad for you because I’m not sure a single reader has ever made their lack of understanding regarding this site more apparent. Sorry, man, but I think you’re completely missing the point.

        • TrustMeIWonJumanji

          If Four Pins is an aquarium then The Skirt is the skeleton captain turning the sea weed caked wheel that makes this underwater kingdom bubble. Most of these comments are fish feces stuck on the walls because the snails, who vigorously devour poop in a professional capacity, refuse to even sniff at it.

  • GEB

    The sarcasm in this post is genius! I love this fuckin’ site! (no sarcasm)

  • Saadi Galeano

    This is probably one of the shittiest things I’ve read on this site. This is what happens when you let waitresses write on blogs…

    • Rachel Seville

      Hey, I’m actually head of communications for a finance firm. Have fun in life!

      • Andrew So

        Hey Skirt. You keep writing, communicating, financing, and doing what you do. This list really made me reevaluate my life and toss out my collection of taxidermy animals stolen from various scholastic institutions.

  • Saadi Galeano

    Fuck… Hipsters all over this shit.

  • geoffrey

    Do i have to get rid of my bracelet?

  • matt

    not your best

    • Rachel Seville

      YOU are not my best!

  • wolf juice

    I rock with Four Pins and can appreciate some of the sarcasm but this one is wack, like I expected her to say your anime collection or whatever but this was just a poor exercise in someone trying to mimic a really good writing criteria that a blog or what have you is known for. Shit seems wild forced. You gotta get a cool broad to diss cool shit Four Pins. But outside of this bullshit this is my favorite anti Hypebeast Menswear blog…….SALUTE

  • Ron Simms Jr.

    but the canon s110 is a hella dope point and shoot…

  • Matt

    I like Four Pins because the responses to negative comments by the articles writer are more often than not better written than the original article. Also, I’m keeping my 3eb CD’s…thx.

  • Dave

    I really like the “The Skirt” posts on Four Pins. Keep them coming. They are a refreshing break from the enjoyable but redundant #lingo that tends to dominate articles around here. I appreciate Miss Seville occasionally shifting the tone from cliquey-condescending to conversational-condescending. Although I must admit, I was looking for taxidermy squirrels on Craigslist like an hour ago… </3

  • NotJonMoy

    Hey, at least this wasn’t an artcle by Jon Moy.

  • keepit100g

    i really don’t know how you can write this list and think its okay for four pins and not like for something
    time to end these. hi i’m rachel seville and i saved up all my fun jokes for the comment section

  • Jason L.

    That’s 5 minutes of my life I’ll never get back. I’m in the wrong business…