What Your Cigarettes Say About You

After your inevitable move to New York City to further your career of standing outside of buildings to get street styled and then tweet about it, you’ll realize three things:

1. Yes, all these people are assholes.

2. Only stand outside of buildings on cobblestone streets when it’s slightly overcast because that’s the best natural light and cobblestones are just straight up fucking classy.

3. You WILL start smoking.

Every person I know that has moved to New York City to work in fashion has started smoking within approximately 32 minutes. Do you already smoke? HOORAY! YOU’RE ALREADY HALF WAY TO YOUR DREAM JOB! AND EMPHYSEMA! So, what am I here for? I’m here to let you know what your cigarettes of choice say to the rest of the world. Hold on to your black lung, kids, because shit's about to get really real.

  • http://twitter.com/weareyourfek Foster Kamer

    Camel Wides are for sketchballs.

  • Cliff Rancho

    What about Marlboro Sport?

  • Jeremy

    I smoke Kools. Liar.

  • lololol

    Calmly place the box next to your expensive coffee with the Pokemon ass
    looking foam that some surly barista made for you and snap that shit
    directly to Instagram.

  • Jerry

    one day, i wanna smoke cigs like lawrence.

  • Duece

    The Parliament quote really had me LOL’ing

  • 2Hype

    ON POINT- you missed 27’s though

  • Tj Matally

    In my town, Black & Milds (or “Blacks” as we like to call them) are reserved for the thug/gangsters who are preparing to smoke a fat blunt.

  • Gatg

    Djarum, kids.

  • Kevin

    Pall Malls are where it’s at

  • samuelbradley

    Why is everyone in the US afraid that rolling their own cigarettes is going to catapult them into poverty? Must be a UK thing but over here in jolly old London you’re considered a bit of a fool for forking out a fiver for ten cigarettes when it’s scientifically proven that a pouch of tobacco will outlive you.

  • Smallpox King

    Jon Moy is perharps my favorite writer of all time in my eyes

  • thetrilltroll

    smoke weed or smoke nothing, thats the motto………..I smoke nothing

  • scampie russell

    i roll my own cigarettes so when arseholes like you come up and try and bum a smoke i can tell you you can roll one if you like. like most things in life this will be another thing you can’t do for yourself, you’ll most likely sigh like a bitch and walk off like the sad bastard you are. This saves me two things, firstly a cigarette and secondly a conversation with a pretentious dick who thinks he knows me based on my cigarette brand.

    • Karl

      And then you have pricks like me who blatantly ask you to roll one for me.

  • Art

    Nat Shermans? Can you write about those too?

    • Dave Hahn

      For real. Dunhills are fancy cigs for amateurs.

  • Dave Hahn

    Ya left out 555’s. Also Yves Saint Laurent thrown in there would’ve been cool. Maybe Korean cigs too – they got triple filters with charcoal and shit in them.

  • Stephanie Andrews

    I smoke Kools, I guess I don’t exist…

  • Ian

    Old Golds man. WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY YOU BITCH. Just kidding I like Marb reds or menthol.

  • hanif.

    I pity american who can’t smoke cloves cigarettes.