What Your Dog Says About You

You are fucking killing it lately. You’ve got a nice suit, some dope sweatpants, convinced everyone around you that leather accents aren’t just for girls and fetishists, a cool tattoo that is both funny and meaningful, and your house plant game is skronger than the Hulk. But If you’re really killing it, I mean, straight serial killing the summer, you even have an adorable dog. You could take exclusive B-roll photos for the rest of your life and not get as many likes and notes as one single photo of your dog laying in some grass. Like any other choice in life, the breed of dog you choose says more about you than you’ll ever know, until now of course. Because, being Four Pins’ resident judgmental asshole, I’m here to tell you what your dog says about you.

  • Losiris

    Yo how could you leave the Shiba off the list. Shibas are the influencer dog of the moment.

    • JD

      For real. The only dog with its own #menswear blog is a Shiba.

  • http://instagram.com/stevenamir SC

    brussels griffins are so f***in ugly, my neighbor has one and every time I see it I cringe. ugly ass underbite

  • J.P.

    As much as I wanted there to be huskies, I knew that wouldn’t be the case. :(

  • Dog

    No corgi or baset?

  • Sir


  • Nico S.

    The bit about the “rescue” dog is plagiarized off of a Bill Burr album. You suck. Also, my pug is awesome, in shape, and everybody sweats him even though he’s ten and a half years old. Suck it.

  • Nico S.
  • Nico S.
  • SZMatheson

    “You either appreciate and respect this breed’s loyalty and strength or you have a really tiny penis and hope your dog compensates for it. It doesn’t.”

    Damn right.