The Types Of People You See At New York Fashion Week

Image via Complex Original

The Struggle Blogger

Seriously, who let this boner in? Straight cutting people in line for free champagne in his faux leather Zara pants, taking more photos of himself than, you know, the shows themselves, this dude is one of our personal favorites. The Struggle Blogger is the physical manifestation of "act like you've been here before." You'll probably see him posing outside a venue for roughly 10 minutes, pretending to be on the phone with his manager who's actually just his mom asking when he'll be home for dinner.

The Too Cool For School Fashion Designer

The only thing worse than a designer who makes pretentious clothing? One who posts pretentious, blurry Instagram photos of their celeb friends. Don't get it twisted, the Too Cool For School Fashion Designer doesn’t need NYFW, but you better believe NYFW needs the Too Cool For School Fashion Fashion Designer. You can practically smell the Speedos and cocaine on their breath.

The Surly, But Incomprehensibly Hot PR Girl

God, we hate this girl. She truly sucks. She’s just so damn mean for no reasons, as if holding a clipboard makes her some mythical fashion gatekeeper. Someone really needs to put her in her place and we totally would, but, like, hey, um, uh, so, are you free later tonight? No? WE LOVE YOU.

The B-List Celebrity

This semi-relevant to not even remotely relevant celebrity doesn’t give a shit about clothes, but like any rational human being, really cares about getting paid. This the the 3rd show you’ve seen them at this week, sitting front row, getting snapped and smiling ear to ear like someone who's doing the money dance in their head.

The Jaded Blogger Who's Way Too Young To Be Jaded

This guy or girl is, like, maybe 23-years-old, but started a blog when they were 16 and now "OMG I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT A TERRIBLE, MORALLY CORRUPT ZOO FASHION WEEK HAS BECOME. IT USED TO BE SO PURE AND ABOUT ART, YOU KNOW?" #PanteneProVsponsoredtweet

The Washed-Up Designer

This guy’s heyday was before you were born and a fashion show at this point is more a traditional formality than anything else. But don’t tell him that. He wants LIGHTS. He wants CAMERAS. He wants FRIENDS.

The Rarely-Seen Fashion Gawd

He or she is never expected to actually turn up, but MLB steroid-esque rumors abound. Always a threat to finally exit their fortress of solitude, the Rarely-Seen Fashion Gawd potential arrival is met with a cacophony of OH-FUCK-FOR REALLY-REALS? and whispers of “Wait, that's him/her?” As it turns out, it really is and, yes, they are 1000x cooler than you will ever be, so don’t even think about talking to them, peasant.

That Guy Who Is Maybe Just Lost

This dude was probably just looking for a bathroom to take a major dump, but somehow ended up backstage at Phillip Lim, sending shock waves throughout the industry, setting the hottest new trend of dirty New Balances and bootcut jeans. Then again, maybe—JUST MAYBE—That Guy Who Is Maybe Just Lost is actually a concept designer at Ralph Lauren.

The Model Who Is More That Just A Pretty Face

This guy is not only beautiful enough to steal your girlfriend while you're currently inside of her, but he went to some really prestigious university in Europe and majored in biochemistry. You want to hate him and his longboarding ass so much, but he’s humble and even compliments you on your outfit. You eventually do end up hating him after he fucks your girlfriend.

The Brolic, Diesel Security Guard

You almost feel bad for this dude before he physically and emotionally strong arms you in public. Before you cry and fire off a slanderous tweet, remember that fashion people are complete buttholes and this dude is just trying to work his day job to pay his bills and feed his family. He gives negative one billion fucks about how you swear you’re on the guest list, but you by accidentally deleted the email. Please keep in mind that this dude doesn't know what Fashion Week even is.

The Dickhead DJ

"DJ DUB MUNKZ COMING AT YOU LIVE FROM THE BACK OF SOME CROWDED BAR." *insert 2 minutes of straight sound effects, but no actual music* Homie's got the illest mashup of those two Top 40 summer jams you never want to hear again. Mixing live? PUH-LEASE, this is an iTunes playlist cranked out of an iPad. Don’t you dare ask him to play something you like because HE’S BEEN DOING THIS SHIT FOREVER (read: at least, like, 4 months if you include that class he took). You know what? Don't bother talking to him at all. Go grab him a beer and keep your mouth shut.

The Street Style Photographer

The crucial key to your continued success and legacy OR the instrument of your complete and utter demise. PROCEED WITH EXTREME CAUTION.

The Regular People Trying To Go About Their Day, Which You're Totally Fucking Up In Case You Didn't Know

These people just want to go about doing their regular, basic ass, non-fashion shit and are totally bewildered by all these ass clowns dressed in non Halloween-related costumes. On some level, you can’t blame them, because what kind of normal man wears a tunic, double breasted jacket, leather pants and neon sneakers on a motherfucking Tuesday afternoon?!?!