The 10 Best Looks From Paris Fall 2014 Couture

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"OMG IT'S OVER!!!!" you are all thinking. Or maybe you're not because you followed couture week about as closely as you followed live tweets of the cronut line. Sure, you freaked out about the Margiela revelation and pored over the street style and probably saw a jillion tweets about that pregnant bride at Chanel, but you're going to need to talk the talk. Why? Because maybe your girl wants you to take a step away from that think piece you're pitching to xojohn.com ("Me, My Selfie, and I: An Anatomy of Self-Portrait") and make her your think piece for a minute. Herewith, a cheat sheet for all the bros.

Rachel Seville is a writer living in New York who believes in miracles. Read her blog, Pizza Rulez, here and follow her on Twitter here.

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Dior

Raf Simons was basically Eric Bana in The Time Traveler's Wife, bopping from courtly costume to the Belle Époque to the 20s and then also to outer space. We'll probably see Jennifer Lawrence in every one of the corset and pannier dresses that opened the show during awards season, but it's the stunningly baller flight suits that you should keep your eyes on.

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Chanel

Lagerfeld went vers une Couture and designed a Corbusier-inspired collection. "Lagerfeld has been listening to Kanye!" you yell at your computer monitor. Except, he's not a dick clown who gets all his cultural knowledge from bootleg rants—my apologies to the commentariat—so, sorry to be the one to break it to you, he probably isn't. An expectant model in a bridal look that recalled the Arnolfini Portrait closed the show, proving that the Renaissance was the original age of 16 and Pregnant, and the 'dos nodded to There's Something About Mary's infamous "hair gel" scene.

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Armani Privé

The boss don of the red carpet showed a lot of leg in red and black (as reported by WWD earlier this week, the "new couture customer" is a little ma). A big surprise: The signature sleek was countered with woozy netting, like on this gal, who seems to have anchored her seventh grade science fair project onto her head.

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