$11 For A Juice With No Booze

These Reigning Champ shorts are technical as fuck. Two layers? A water resistant outer and a cozy terry inner layer? Wear these with those cool ass running leggings all the kids are wearing these days and you will have the futuristic aerobics instructor look down. And make sure you work them into a photo with those fresh, new Nikes that you've yet to wear outside of your bedroom and that FuelBand you've yet to use to, um, track your fuel. If you're really about that life an expensive juice might even make it's way into the frame. Seriously, juice is bespoke and heritage and artisanal now too. GODDAMNIT YOU GUYS, $11 FOR A JUICE AND IT DOESN’T EVEN HAVE ANY BOOZE MIXED IN IT? I’M DONE WITH SOCIETY. *logs out forever*