Replacing #Menswear's Most Overused Buzzwords

Image via Complex Original

Americana

We had a clear sniper shot at something meaningful here. No crosswind, no armored caravan. But criminy, fellas, you managed to body a word that is 93% the word "America". It's not that the word "Americana" doesn't apply to clothing anymore, it's that it's become such a meaningless go-to phrase you might as well be saying "Lorem Ipsom".

Possible alternatives: Americore, Skars and Skraps, Guantanamo Trapwear, First World Drab

Modern Twist

"Modern Twist" ruffles my jimboes because you're inherently piggybacking off some predecessor. And while most clothes do that, it won't cross anyone's mind until you call it out. When designers describe their finery as having a "modern twis,t" I presume they sent an intern to the archives—like a dog to fetch the paper—and told him not to come back without sum'n brill'yant in his mouth.

Possible alternatives: Historically Liberal, Unstate of the Art, The Trill Old Days, Traptiquity, an Archive Stutter, Breaking Back

Dapper

A word old ladies utter from behind cig smoke and neatly held poker hands to describe their grandsons clad in black suits and lime ties. Can we screen print "FVCK DVPPER" on some T-shirts? Then call those T-shirts out in "Shurt Feelings"? Four Pins: the perpetual content machine.

Possible alternatives: Crassy, Spliffy, Dappy

Nxt Lvl

Are we still pretending there are levels? Like when you beat a sandbox-style video game, but continue running around in the environment out of habit? If you want a new way to feel like you're always making progress, join my twelve-step program called "Settle Down, Grover." To reach step two all you gotta do is fall on a sword.

Possible alternatives: Upsequent, Warp Whistle, Trapoline Jump

Unique Silhouette

But, like, unique compared to what? How do you know every other thing I own doesn't drape identically to this thing you're describing? Quit assuming I don’t have the body of a pregnant Rachel Green and all my shirts aren't skin-tight 'round the tum tum, bruh.

Possible alternatives: Sui Silhouette, Unprecedraped, Outline Outlier, Cuckoo Contoured

Clean

I mean, I guess this word fills a necessary void: that of the thing which looks cool, but for a reason you can't pinpoint. I've just seen it so many times that I gloss over it. Whatever. The kangaroo court has spoken.

Possible alternatives: Trill and Span, Tidy, 'Nilla

Elevated Basics

This shit kills me, resuscitates me, then kills me again, only slower. The backward logic with calling something an "elevated basic"—a $90 white tee, for example—is that the price already says it's elevated, but then you turn around and use the phrase as justification for charging that much. What we've got here is a round robin of semantics fueling deceit playing a Human Centipede ring around the rosie. On my barf. That I just barfed.

Possible alternatives: Skyssentials, Loftwear, Cloud Britches

Technical

With the recent proliferation of water-resistant shit quadruple-saddled with unnecessary zippers, the word "technical" is getting wild playing minutes out here. Let's give it a breather and start using other words so "technical" doesn’t become a style branch all its own. I'd lose REM cycles over that. Jesus wept.

Possible alternatives: 'Dustrial, Wreckanical, Sweat-Copped, Wickingwear

Rare

This word needs a stern talking-to, wspecially when it appears before vestment nouns like "hemline" and "crotch". Calling something "rare" is the surest way I know to make it less rare. Food for thought: Twinkies are, technically speaking, now more rare than most "rare" garments.

Possible alternatives: Raw, Undercooked, Scurrce, Uncommon Projects, Mythicwave

Cult Favorite

Which cult we talking? If it's a cool cult, I'm in. If it's a bunk cult, I'm not showing up to the bid ceremony. Unless you've got Crodogs. That's a croissant wrapped around a hot dog, corndog-style. Bang-a-rang.

Possible alternatives: Mob Bait, Favewave, Kid-Tested, Illuminati-Approved, Carcosa Flows

Vintage-Inspired

I like how this is treated as the explanation for why clothes look a certain way. Because it's actually the point where the question marks start flying in low and fast and I'm like, "Double fucking pause. You have got hella s'plainin' to do." Vintage what? And just how inspired? Historically accurate or merely based on a true story? No one ever never answers my letters.

Possible alternatives: Oldspiration, Vint Condition, or, ideally, nothing at all

Central Motif

I see you sitting there, smugly rolling up the sleeves on your white lab coat because—against the alchemist-in-chief's wishes—you boiled an entire lookbook down to a solitary element. You wipe your brow and gaze into the microscope. Molecules have gathered in the petri dish to spell out: "Box Logos". BOX LOGOS. How the fuck can #menswear ever repay you for demystifying what was ever-fucking-present on every fucking item of clothing in that fucking lookbook?!?!

Possible alternatives: Rethink your entire you