Sneaker Grandma

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

Not Available Lead

Have you guys heard of Sneaker Grandma? When I first got this link, I was like, "For fuck’s sake. Can grandmas stop trying to rap or dance or whatever? Just be grandmas. Like, hold onto really outmoded beliefs that might be a little more racists than average, but cook really bomb ass food that makes everyone forget that you're a tiny, old racist." But because I'm contractually obligated, I clicked through the link and realized it was the Instagram and Twitter account of a grandma that actually wears really rare sneakers while doing shit like talk on what appears to be a cordless home phone, which is something outdated that only a grandmother would actually do. Although, I'm naturally gonna have to go ahead and call shenanigans on this old bird, no matter how fly her collection of kicks. I mean, clearly this lady has a kid or grandkid that is the actual sneakerhead and thinks putting her in some "Fear" IV's and coke XI's is some funny ass shit. On the off chance that this geriatric woman putting the "G" back in g-man is actually a sneakerhead, I will personally snail mail her a handwritten apology inside a birthday card complete with, like, a $5 bill.

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