The Best And Worst Dressed (And Most Heavily On Drugs) At The 2013 Emmys

Imaginative storytelling is thriving on television, but the Emmys still suck. This year’s ceremony was on CBS, which is—think about this shit for a second—America’s most-watched network. Yet, sadly, NCIS won no Emmys this year. Therein spreads the widening gap in modern television that makes the Emmys so weird: the space between the actual art taking place in the medium and the shit fed to old people by the decaying major networks. “Hey, America,” the Emmys say, “Look at all these great shows you haven’t seen because you can’t afford HBO.”

But there’s another troubling disconnect at the Emmys which makes it difficult as someone writing for a site mostly about menswear: that between the mostly gorgeous, competently dressed women and their sad, baggy male counterparts. In a perfect world you wouldn’t be allowed on TV if you couldn’t pick out clothes that fit, but that’s a world that only exists in Mad Men (solid fit being about the only quality to endure the show's now tired run.) Unlike the VMAs or Grammys, there weren’t even ridiculous outfits to comment on, just an industry leading blandness befitting of CBS. I would have fallen asleep with one of Doogie Howser’s musical numbers on mute if I weren’t staying up for Breaking Bad. But hey, Jewel was at the Emmys, so it wasn’t all bad. Fucking love me some Jewel. Let’s dig in.

Angelo Spagnolo is a writer living in Portland, Oregon. Read his blog here and follow him on Twitter here.