Burton Kinda Bricked The US Olympic Snowboarding Uniforms

Burton just released images of the US Olympic Snowboarding team uniform for the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia. Evidently, Burton’s design team was heavily influenced by RRL because they went to Brimfield, Massachusetts (the mecca of old shit for workwear bloggers) and had some lady make a patchwork quilt, which they then had printed onto the jackets. If I were an Olympian, I’d want my uniform to look futuristic as fuck and not extremely vintage. I’d want tabi snowboard boots, some drop-crotchy tech fabric pants and a murdered out jacket. How ill would an Olympic team look if they came out in all black uniforms with, like, black balaclavas and mittens with trigger fingers? I don’t care if the uniforms are supposed to represent the nation. Sure, you can make the argument that the patchwork symbolizes the very same patchwork nature that makes our nation great, BUT WHO THE FUCK CARES WHEN YOU COULD HAVE AN ENTIRE SQUAD OF MURDERED OUT SNOW NINJAS TAKE THE PODIUM? You guys remember when snowboarding was barely an Olympic sport and then one of the medalists tested positive for smoking weed and his medal was taken away and then given back because they decided weed wasn’t a performance enhancing drug? That’s why you get weird patchwork uniforms, snowboarders. If you do drugs, I only respect you if they're drugs that decidedly impair your performance. Nobody likes overly-ambitious nerds.