Cleaning Out My Closet

I am a big proponent of doing mundane things on nights and weekends while slightly intoxicated. Not blackout drunk or to the point of slurring words, but just a little maintenance buzz to keep things interesting. After a couple of beers, talking to your parents on the phone is kind of fun. Movies are always better, and don’t even let me tell you about the benefits of going for a run after happy hour. I feel like Michael Johnson on uppers. So, basically like Carl Lewis!

Almost everything except operating a motor vehicle and delivering a baby can benefit from a little liquid encouragement. Especially my favorite drunk pastime after drunk dancing: drunk shopping.

Drunk Shopping is kind of like playing Russian roulette with your debit card—sometimes you're going to get away with it and wake up on the couch tangled in some great purchases. And sometimes, you’re going to wake up with elastic-waisted jeans.

Over the holidays, I decided to purge my closet of some questionable drunken purchases. Sadly, I discovered a ton of other pieces that are just as unfortunate that I can’t blame on beer—these monstrosities were purchased with clear eyes and a full heart. And I lost.

Because I am nothing if not a glutton for embarrassing myself, I’ve decided to share with you, dear Four Pins readers, some of the worst pieces of clothing I found in my closet. May it inspire you to let go of useless pieces taking up space in your closet and encourage the "buy better, buy less" mentality that we all strive for. And if not, may it at least inspire you to pick up a 40 and hit the mall.

Steve Dool is a writer based in New York City. Follow him on Twitter.

  • Tjay

    Slide 9 hurts my eyes. I’m not sure if that’s literal or not…

  • Django

    I sort of like that blazer. Ha ha.

  • Ernest

    There’s nothing wrong with the “Casual” dress shirts. The blue one is not even “business” since it has a pocket. However, thanks for dropping the stripy one.

  • Excavator Hire Adelaide

    I am really impressed that there is so much information about this subject that have been revealed and you did it so well. Great job.
    http://excavatorhireadelaide.net.au/

  • Cleaning Services Melbourne

    I am really impressed that there is so much information about this subject that have been revealed and you did it so well. Great job. http://cleaningservicesinmelbourne.com/

  • Aaron’sRemovalsAndStorage

    Thanks a lot for a fantastic post you have given here to us with such a huge collection of valuable information. Great job you have done by sharing them to all. http://removalistsinperth.net.au/

  • Building Inspections Melbourne

    Interesting blog. It would be great if you can provide more details about it. Thank you. http://buildinginspectionsmelbourne.net.au/

  • Dial A Digger

    Great article with excellent idea! I appreciate your post. Thanks so much and let keep on sharing your stuffs. http://excavatorhiremelbourne.net.au/

  • Building Inspections Melbourne

    Great article with excellent idea!. It would be great if you can provide more details about it. Thank you. http://buildinginspectionsmelbourne.net.au/

  • Cleaners Melbourne

    That was a pleasure to read various posts here, as well as a great opportunity to get a new knowledge and interesting informations. http://cleanersmelbourne.net.au/

  • Aaron’s Removals And Storage

    Thanks for a nice share you have given to us with such an large collection of information. Thanks so much and let keep on sharing your stuffs. http://removalistsinperth.net.au/

  • Termite Solutions Pest Control

    Nice post! Thanks for sharing large collection of information. Many thanks to the author. http://pestcontrolinmelbourne.com/

  • Antenna Specialist

    Creative post. I am glad to read your post which is full of fact and information. More power to you! http://antennainstallationmelbourne.com/

  • Cleaners Melbourne

    I am happy to read your post that is full of interesting facts and information. Hoping to get more informations from you. http://cleanersmelbourne.net.au/

  • Aaron’s Removals And Storage

    Great stuff! Thank you for sharing this useful information. http://removalistsinperth.net.au/

  • Dial A Digger

    Nice post! I have looking for this info for quite some time now. Keep up the great work here. http://excavatorhiremelbourne.net.au/

  • Aaron’s Removals And Storage

    Great stuff! Thank you for sharing this useful information. http://removalistsinperth.net.au/

  • Building Inspections Melbourne

    Thanks a lot for all the information in this post. Great job to the author. http://buildinginspectionsmelbourne.net.au/

  • Cleaners Melbourne

    Happy to read your post!. Thank you so much to the author for such a nice post. Very interesting.

  • removalists perth

    So glad to read your post!. Thank you so much to the author for such a nice post. More power!