The buzz around the blogosphere is that Megan Collins aka The Style Girlfriend, is now going Hollywood. For the unaware, The Style Girlfriend doles out sage advice to clueless dudes who don't know a selvedge line from a peak lapel. Recently, a feature on The GQ Eye put her in the spotlight, which brought her numerous offers from "a handful of Hollywood execs," according to Variety. Congrats on the deal, Megan!
To get the ball rolling on the production process, I've gone ahead and come up with some possible storylines for a feature film. After all, I'm pretty sure Four Pins is the premier resource for menswear movies that need to get made. Get your popcorn ready. Here's how we could see this story being told:
The scene: Paris Fashion Week, Spring/Summer 2014. Megan Collins is in attendance, excited to see the new Marc Jacobs show. But when the collection suddenly goes missing, she has to track down the Eastern European mafiosos pulling the strings. Before they wish her "good luck" she delivers them a fair warning: "I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for reblogs, I can tell you I don't have a Tumblr account. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over numerous nights in Wordpress. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you return the frayed hem skirts and collarless trenchcoats, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will put you on Instagram."
The Devil Wears Menswear
Megan Collins has just scored a job a million nerds would kill for: Lawrence Schlossman's executive assistant. Even though her duties involve making sure his pants stay cuffed at exactly 2 inches, patting down the flyaway hairs in his sidepart and tracking how many reblogs he gets on his Tumblr, she finds out firsthand just how cutthroat the world of writing about men's clothing can be. Yet, instead of faltering, she ends up finding the inner resolve and personal taste necessary to discern the difference between a fully-canvassed jacket and half-canvassed jacket. She even decodes every single number on the Maison Martin Margiela label. Forget Prada, Megan is about to find out that The Devil Wears Menswear.
When Megan Collins moved to the sleepy Pacific Northwestern town of Forks, Washington, she didn't expect to meet Edward. He was mysterious, with an edgy side and looked really great in Phillip Lim leather jackets and Rick Owens drop crotch sweatpants. On the other hand, the hunky Jacob had Italian sprezzatura down pat, always decked out in dub monks, double-breasted blazers and spread collar shirts. Now, she'll have to choose between the two and determine the fate of her RSS feed. Pick your side: #TeamSprezzy or #TeamGothNinja. Break out your pocket squares, this one's a real tear jerker.
The Twitter Games
In the near future, civilization has collapsed and people are forced to live in colonies where there is only one form of entertainment: menswear blogs. Day by day, they are forced to aspire to higher and higher priced-items. One day it's astrakhan collar coats, another it's horse bit loafers made from stingray. To keep these splintered societies humble, the Internet gathers one blogger from each colony to live-tweet to the death. Who will @ mention themselves to oblivion? Who will get spammed to death by anonymous trolls? Hashtag you're it—these are The Twitter Games.
When Earth is threatened by extraterrestrial forces in baggy suits and square-toed shoes, Nick "Style Girlfriend" Fury pulls together the steeziest heroes he knows to battle the oncoming threat. First recruit is Captain America, who in this reality is obviously Michael Williams because duh. Filling out the roster is Iron Chef Man Christopher Bastin, who is really good at cutting things with GANT Rugger branded knives and tailoring, Lawrence Schloss-Man—Jewish God of The Internet and The Hulk, played as a dual role by Jace Lipstein featuring Austin Wong as Bruce Banner.
Photographs courtesy of James Nord