Forfeiting Your Free Will

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It’s totally fucking freezing out right now where I'm at. Thankfully, I can drive an automobile pretty much anywhere I need to go, but there’s still that whole pesky starting the car and letting it warm up and touching a steering wheel that is colder than absolute zero. This is where a pair of high-end gloves comes into the picture. I’m sure a bunch of you assholes that always comment with things like: “DO YOU GUYS EVER LEAVE SOHO?” actually walk around the city you live in, so all this shit applies to you too. These White Mountaineering gloves have those special tips on the index, middle finger and thumb so you can still check in on Foursquare. IF YOU'RE ONE OF THE THREE PEOPLE THAT ACTUALLY STILL USES FOURSQUARE YOU MIGHT AS WELL KEEP IT UP JUST LIKE THAT GUY WHO WORE SHORTS ONE TIME IN THE WINTER BECAUSE HE WAS OUT OF CLEAN CLOTHES, BUT NOW HE HAS NO CHOICE SINCE HE’S THAT GUY WHO WEARS SHORTS IN THE WINTER. HOMIE FORFEITED HIS FREE WILL.

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