If It’s All Natural, It’s All Good

Just by looking at this straight butter briefcase you already know it’s super expensive. But it’s all natural. Anything is better if it’s all natural, just like those organic Twinkies I eat all the time from the farmer’s market instead of working out. So what if they’re still filled with sugar and fats and stuff that will eventually kill me or at least cause me to lose one of my feet. Diabetes is okay if it’s all natural. Same thing goes for extremely irresponsible purchases. Sure, your job doesn’t really warrant the use of a $700 briefcase. Or a briefcase at all, really. But this is an all natural case rubbed with mutton tallow and beeswax. MUTTON TALLOW AND BEESWAX. HOW HAVE YOU NOT CLICKED OVER TO CONTEXT AND BOUGHT ONE OF THESE BRIEFCASES ALREADY? I can never turn down mutton tallow.