Check Out JCPenney’s $35 German Army Trainers

Wow JCPenney got them fucking heaterz, my guy. No longer do you have to troll German eBay to buy authentic GATs to save Deutschmarks, or worse, be like me and get hella butthurt on some Margielas. Instead, you can just swing by your local mall, pick these up for 35 bones and still have tons of cash left over for a heaping plate of General Tso chicken from Panda Express. JCP isn't stopping at low end Sambas either! They've got strug varsity jackets ($120!), strug colorblocked parkas ($60!) and clearance 5 panels ($14.99!). Praise be to the holy ghost of Woost Gawd.