Longer Shorts, Better Player

Bermuda shorts are dope because they aren’t tiny little shorts you see dudes wearing in, like, terrible old Elvis movies where he’s a "surfer" with fourteen pounds of pomade in his hair. I seriously don’t get this short short movement whatsoever. I mean, haven’t we learned anything from the NBA? Longer shorts make you a better player. These Carhartt jams are perfect because they sit a little lower on your waist and break right at your knee, which means when you sit down your poor tablemates won’t have to see your upper thigh that is all patchy with weird looking hair. Also, don’t cut off your old pants to make shorts. You couldn’t cut a straight line in Ms. Cavalcante’s 3rd grade art class, so I'm not sure what makes you think you can do it today.

3 Responses to “Longer Shorts, Better Player”

  1. ZeroSceneCred

    Now if only i could convince all of Austin TX to wear either of these I wouldn’t be subjected to hairy upper man thigh 6 months of the year.


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