All-Time Flagrant Purchases

Wow, these White Mountaineering shorts are dope. Wow, these White Mountaineering shorts are expensive. I guess you've gotta ask yourself if $450 on some sorts would really be your most flagrant purchase of all-time? Probably not if you really think about it. Remember that time you tried to impress that girl in the club by buying her 3 G&T's for $18 a pop? And she didn't even give you her number? Shit happens, man. That probably wouldn't happen if you owned these shorts tbh, or the entire alphet for that matter. A girl isn't going to totally Mutumbo a guy in fucking matching paisley print shorts and shirt, if for no other reason that you'll look like the kind of guy who has enough disposable income to do such things and, thus, whose parents most likely have a sick beach house.