Late last year in Toronto, a middle-aged man dubbed the "well-dressed bandit" performed a string of four bank robberies in October and November. Unfortunately, we can't embed video of the press conference because their website, in typical Canadian fashion, is beat, but click through here to see the entire thing and read about the story.
In his first robbery, the man was seen wearing a suit and tie "as if he had left a job interview." Movies always depict bank robbers as down on their luck guys who just got laid off or some shit, but not this guy. Dude coolly walked up to the teller, handed her a stickup note, flashed his handgun and just floated away from the scene with a bunch of cash. I don't think we can truly qualify how much of a fucking legend the "well-dressed bandit" is. Sure, crime doesn't pay, kids, but sometimes the manner in which you do said crime does. When you commit an illegal act in a such a way that it gets you a fire nickname, you have already won.
Can you even imagine a Four Pins reader trying to pull off some shit like this? The comments from witnesses would be like, "He was wearing all black, layered from head-to-toe in what appeared to be loopwheeled John Elliott and the balaclava on his face was clearly of high quality—possibly 100% cashmere from Rick Owens. It all happened so quickly, but as soon as he had the money in hand, he immediately pulled out his phone and bought these SLP boots. He wouldn't stop bragging, even as we cowered in fear for out lives. It was horrible!" *Sobs uncontrollably*. Ok, maybe the witnesses in that scenario read Four Pins too.
Anyhow, back to the actual story. The Toronto police force has been investigating the case in an effort to track down the suspect, but have had no luck yet, so they're reaching out to the public for any information whatsoever that could lead to his arrest. If this is your swaggy old dad, turn him in so you can use the reward money—$10,000—for sick jawnz.
