Useless Details Win Every Single Time

If you’re anything like me, you appreciate small details that you will likely never use—you just appreciate their presence and brag about them to others. A good example of what I'm talking about? The straps on top of this Epperson Mountaineering pack. I suppose I’d strap an umbrella there if I used umbrellas, which I do not because I am a man child. I don’t own a ninja sword or a rifle, which would look badass as fuck strapped up there, so they're out. I don't hike because, um, why would I go hiking when I could be watching television, so I can't strap whatever dumb shit you use to go hiking up there either. I guess the straps can just be another reason to constantly run up on strangers and scream at them about how cool my backpack is. Get your bragging rights at Hickorees.