World’s Biggest Hypebeast Ruins Everything

Meet Brandon Sales, super rich (apparently), UK-born, designer (of his own brand, LuxuryExcellence, because, of course), "stylist" (he dresses himself?), self-proclaimed "influencer" (we're not even fucking with you) and undisputed heavyweight hypebeast champion of the world. Over the course of a few years, Sales has made a "name" for himself by buying any and all designer fashions, putting them together in the corniest outfits possible and doing his best to befriend anyone even remotely famous enough to help him push his lifestyle terrorism.

What's scary is that based on Facebook and Instagram, his plan is seemingly working. Early this year he was interviewed at London Fashion Week about this outfit and his various exploits, to which he replied, "I'm just going for that whole futuristic vibe—[a] mix of kind of heavenly with the all-white. I don't know, it's something outrageous and different, I guess." So, yeah, dude is highly fluent in fashion buzzword fuckery, completely devoid of logic or, you know, an actual idea. But, of course, actions speak louder than words! Brandon also sucks at those. His purchases are so lavish, so frequent, so shameless that it's almost like he's trying to ruin absolutely everything for the rest of us.

While it's easy to say that we're simply hating on Brandon, his "personal style", hustle and money, stating such irresponsibly removes Brandon of all accountability in terms of his pathetic, transparent thirst for the recognition of others. Brandon, and anyone really, can play the "hater" card all they want, but at the end of the day, if you're relentlessly taking to social media to brag about your life, you better have skin as thick as your Balmain leather.

Update: Read our follow up interview with Brandon Sales here.