Russell Westbrook's Amazing Technicolor Dream

Professional run and jumper/fifth Ninja Turtle Russell Westbrook has blessed us with images of his new collaboration with Barneys by way of Jordan Brand and, at first glance, I'd say that I'm a bit surprised at how tame this capsule collection is. Sure, the dude went full Photoshop, bringing gradients, animal-inspired prints, metallics and layered meshes into the fold, but, structurally speaking, this shit is p basic. I bet Russ, known almost as much for his terrible taste in clothing as for his incredible ball dunking skills, came in there with some wilder ideas, but then that ridiculous guy from Barneys who is on all the VH1 specials was like, "Nah, let's tone it down a bit." Shut up, of course I know who Simon Doonan is.

Let's be real, lamestreamers are probably thinking this collection is just wild Russ being wild Russ. But the savvy Pinz reader has been gassed off long tees for, like, two full fashion cycles now, and anybody wearing allover print anything is on beginner level one status to begin with. And does that parka even fishtail? Doesn't look like it.

Regardless, I can make a guarantee: You will see a dude with a beard and a topknot walking down the sweltering Brooklyn streets wearing one of Westbrook's amazing technicolor dreamcoat jerseys. Should you, tempted by some unknowable, corruptive force, consider buying any of these pieces, let me caution you. Russell Westrbook is 6'3" and Jacked Johnson, bro. Your convex chest and supplemental chest hair are not going to look dope in a see-through snake print tank top.

As a fan of basketball and also a fan of clothes, it pains me to see NBA players gaining more and more mainstream attention for their poor judgement. But I always side with ignorant celebrities because if you have millions of dollars you're probably going to do dumb shit because you have no problems, so why the fuck not?

Real talk though, I just want Russ to expend less effort "designing" shit and spend more energy trying to abandon Kevin Durant in OKC (which I couldn't locate on a map) in an attempt to resurrect the decaying carcass of the Los Angeles Lakers.

Angelo Spagnolo is a writer living in Portland, Oregon. Read his blog here and follow him on Twitter here.