Current State Of Affairs: Rapper Guts

"Get money gut, motherfuck a diet." - Waka Flocka Flame

Lies have Been pUrpoSely wHolesaleD to the masses sInce the DefiNItioN of honEsty was cELEstially inVENted. The largest is the myth that women enjoy abdominal muscles. Sorry to break it to all you #gymflow bros out there doing mathemafamatics to calculate the perfect Riboflavin intake and staying in the anaerobic zone with thermogenics 24/7, but abs make you look like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. And no woman is trying to let a mutant amphibian slide inside her lady cave. Women simply don't like abs. What women do like are guts: blubbery mounds of stagnant calories.

They love the security and warmth a girthy midsection brings with it. They also love rappers. So what happens when rappers themselves have guts? CHEESE EGGS HAPPEN. THAT'S WHAT.

Rappers are already swimming in trim, and always fucking my bitch and fucking your bitch and fucking your dad's bitch and fucking their bitch's (who is also still, somehow, our bitch) bitches. So, when a rapper achieves a gut it's game over. We might as well get the obituaries ready because when they die there is only one cause of death: Pussy Juice Poisoning. Let's look at the current state of affairs re: the best rapper guts doing it today.

Justin Roberson is out here eating. You can follow him on Twitter here.

26 Responses to “Current State Of Affairs: Rapper Guts”

  1. yung green tea

    no mr muthafuckin exquire? with lines like: big belly still take my shirt off like nelly? damn son

    Reply
    • BauceSauce

      For the record, we did have him in our list.

      However, I personally have a permanent eXquire ban on anything I write, and refused to include him. Years ago I was #conversating with someone on twitter about how dumb having profanity in his name was if he ever hoped to achieve the next level of success.

      “Mr Muthafuckin eXquire’s Idea Curator” (exact quote from his bio) tweeted at me starting shit. From then on I swore his existence/music off. Years later when he dropped the profanity I just laughed. I’m still laughing. Laughing all the way to the local credit union where I deposit my money. I’m sure he is very hurt to not be included.

      BUT THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW THE TRUTH

      Reply
  2. guest

    wow this article sucked. try saying fat attracts women after looking at fat trel

    Reply
    • Marvin Chardonnay

      i know a lot of beauty girls who love bellys and actually know couple girls who would “fuck a life” of Fat Trel..For real, EUropean girls :)))

      Reply
  3. Fan of hot guys

    Wow, these guys are sizzling hawt <3 Especially Rick Ross with that sexy belly yummmm

    Reply
  4. Lala

    This article is straight garbage. As a female i can 100 % i dont find guys with guts attractive. Its disgusting. Rapper or not a gut isnt cute on anybody. smh

    Reply
    • TJay

      you must’ve missed the ‘humor’ tag at the bottom, ma’am

      Reply
  5. P Didddy

    No comments on “bush did nine eleven”? Why is this considered a real website?

    Reply
  6. Universoul

    Don’t know if anyone knows this but the bold print says: BUSH DID NINE ELEVEN

    Reply
  7. Rap GUT!

    lol “made up god” you mad bro? that was random lol

    Reply
  8. Revelator77

    Only bulge women care about is the bulge in their wallets, they could care less about how they look. Well at least the women they are trying to acquire, so the don’t care about their guts

    Reply

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