The Worst Gifts You’ll Get For Christmas This Year (And Who Will Give Them To You)

'Tis the season. 'Tis the season for giving, but more importantly receiving. 'Tis the season for reflecting on all the blessings we’ve received this year. Sure, all that and judging friends and families based on the shitty fucking presents they give us. JESUS, YOU SHOULDA STAYED ALIVE, HOMIE. ALL I GET IS GIFT CARDS TO STORES I’VE NEVER SHOPPED AT AND BAD ADVICE I DON’T NEED. THAT ISN’T THE WAY YOUR BIRTH SHOULD BE MEMORIALIZED, MY DUDE. I’m sure all of you have been skunked during the holidays. It’s an inevitability. In fact, we’ve all probably given some butt presents ourselves. But that doesn’t mean we’re not out here hating relatives because somehow they don’t know our likes and dislikes despite seeing us exactly once a year. Without further ado, let's get right into the worst gifts you'll get for Christmas this year, and the assholes who will give them to you. Happy holidays, motherfuckers.

  • Nick Grant

    you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me, Moy. AGAIN!?

  • disqus_944TVOoMyY

    A carton of cigarettes would rule.

  • b

    man i can’t wait to be a dad and do all shit that was mentioned in the article.

  • mikeylab

    i’d take that swiss army knife and the cigarettes

  • larae_is_bored

    #4 – i got an AMEX gift card from my boss… for $800, no activation fee. Sooo…. yeah

    • bruhbruh

      no one gives a shit

      • larae_is_bored

        Cared enough to reply… Sorry u mad “bruhbruh”, work harder next time?

  • f_galton

    Except for the 7 Habits book, the charitable donation, and the shoes I think these gifts are really good, but then I enjoy smoking and playing the kazoo while I whittle.

  • superdanger


  • Kevin

    cartons of cigarettes and cash are not bad gifts, they are awesome. the less money i have to spend on cigarettes, the better.


    The itunes gift card is a great gift. People work hard to make the music you enjoy, so if you get a chance to support them by purchasing their music its well worth it.

  • OK_ok

    Cigarettes and cold cash are the best fucking gifts you can get.