How To Get A Proper #Menswear Haircut

You've got the grey suit, the blue suit, the black tux, the khaki suit, the wingtips, the double monks, the driving loafers, the FBTs, the Flyknits, the Jordans, the raw selvedge, the dad jeans, the Borsalino, the Wayfarers and a whole bunch of other ridiculous shit we told you to cop and then laughed about afterward. You're on the verge of "crispy gentleman" status, but you're still lacking that extra step that will propel you into the sartorial stratosphere of worth-knowingness. While we're still selling the idea that "the clothes make the man," truth is nothing can fuck up your whole look worse than a goofy ass bowl haircut you got at Mom's house. With a bad haircut, you could be laced with the entire Crazy, Stupid, Love Gosling kit and still end up looking like Steve Carrel, which is pertinent because you will not have had sex with Emma Stone. You want the total package that's heavy on the details, including your domepiece.

If you take the time to study runway shows, ad campaigns or street style shots, you'll notice that nearly every single dude, whether model, editor or blogger, has a similar weave. But how are all these guys achieving James Dean levels of follicle domination? Is there something in the lukewarm water bottles at Capsule? Is Fashion Week sponsored by Rogaine? What it all boils down to is that these people are going to the same handful of barbershops, giving similar instructions and using the same range of styling products. Let's delved into the secrets to achieving that #menswear lettuce even though you're never smanging Stone regardless of how hard your part is.

Jake Woolf is a writer living in New York City. You can read his blog here and follow him on Twitter here.

  • euro jack

    is there a black hair version coming soon lol

    • lawrences

      Nick Grant, Four Pins Token Black Guy, where are you when we need you?!

  • Kendrick

    Should’ve made this clear from the jump that you meant a proper white menswear haircut. The fuck are bangs my nigga?

  • taylor

    my mutt hair can rock this… i forgot, already rockin it :)

    educational and funny as always!

  • Tony

    I seem to be going bald rapidly any advise?

    • hoodoo

      shave that off. Rock a chrome dome. consider growing a beard if you can.


      CABOKI MY G!

  • Petrit

    Gotta love the Illuminati references. Great article !

  • daniel jeremian

    Hey Jake, it’s me Dan. I have significant dandruff in the back of my head so anything higher than a two isn’t a good sight. Please advise. x

  • Oddball42

    So what does Fructis taste like? GFruticsarnie

    • Oddball42

      Please ignore the “GFruticsarnie” at the end of that. I have no idea what happened there.