The @itslavishbitch Guide To Stunting

Currently enjoying his 15 nano seconds of internet fame is some kid named "Param" from San Francisco, the 17-year-old behind @itslavishbitch, the wealthiest, trolliest, most ignorant Instragram on the planet. If you aren't privy to this absolute circus of social media, then stop reading this shit, pick up your phone and follow him right now because everything about this is amazingly terrible.

This kid is rich, but not just moderately exclusive country club rich—we're talking straight up black gold oil rich. Sure, there's lots of super rich people on Instagram, but what sets Param apart is his completely blatant, excessive and wildly unnecessary "fuck you" lack of humility. Posting pictures of his nice things is simply not enough for dude. No, each pic of $5000 dollar sneakers and gold plated staples is underscored with captions that have the sole intention of asserting his dominance. Some people show off their wealth and some people fuck you in the ass with it. Lil homie prefers the latter. He is a king, you are a "peasant" and you better not forget it.

Homeboy clearly has some v deep-seated issues he is desperately working through (he uses the "N-word" more than a Tarantino script), but there's no point in going there. People half as rich as this kid are beyond saving, so you can only imagine just how much of a lost cause we are dealing with. Morality aside, what can we learn in terms of sheer, unadulterated flexing from the kind of guy who ties $4,000 to a bunch of balloons and watches it fly away for fun? What can a king, who without thinking gives away $60,000 on Instagram, teach us about not looking like a pathetic peasant?

Jake Woolf is a writer living in New York City. You can read his blog here and follow him on Twitter here.

35 Responses to “The @itslavishbitch Guide To Stunting”

  1. SC

    I didn’t know this level of apathy and amorality existing in real life…

    Reply
  2. Themediabull

    Is sarcasm and irony part of the educational program in US schools? Reading this comment section makes me wonder…

    Reply
  3. April Chapple

    This kid has been all over the internet as of this morning. The boy clearly has what I like to call “my mommy is so rich and powerful she has no time for me” disorder. This poor little lost duckling truly believes that the only way to make friends is with his money, and if he can’t make friends he’ll just cuddle up next to his duckets instead. Not one of his pictures shows him with his other rich friends…why? because his douche baggery will not allow him to, even with others belonging to his “lavish” cast

    Reply
  4. Alex Rudkovsky

    how come no one punched that kid in the face yet?
    also he is not a baller!! fuck your kayne west kicks. unless you have a sweat shop factory in your basement and you making dinosaur omelets you are not a baller!

    Reply
  5. Shawn

    Indians….sometimes you wish there wasn’t so many of them… And them glasses look like what a 9th grader gets from Lenscrafters.

    Reply
  6. banginemsmooth

    i seen this little shit stain on youtube. His mom owns some bank or something

    Reply
    • Jon Kim

      It is not him. He has stolen the name & is impersonating him!

      Reply
  7. Jon Kim

    He is fake! Just a short one year ago he was doing $20 itune card giveaways on his YouTube acct!

    Reply
  8. giovanni dennis

    This dude has all the makings of a modern day rapper…why is he not signed to YMCMB?He has the swag and the grammar…

    Reply
    • Lou

      Pretty spot on. Check his twitter hes putting out an album with Gucci Mane (famous rapper)

      Reply
  9. hoodoo__operator

    real gangsta ass niggas don’t flex nuts, cuz real gangsta ass niggas know they got ’em.

    Reply

Leave a Reply