Tim Duncan: A Swagless Retrospective

today timothy francis duncan (i made the middle name up) attempts to right the wrong that was game 6 of the 2013 nba finals maybe capping off one of the most swagless careers in human history. the landscape of the nba has changed dramatically since duncan's career began in 1946. since then america won world war 2 n sometime later nba dictator davidoff stern ended allen iverson's reign of throwback jersey tall tee terror with the dress code, which means all nba players today dress like trendy captain crunch in high waters at all nba events. thru out all of this one thing was certain: tim duncan was somewhere dressed in the most washed up of garments. let's take a quick look back at some of the fits that the fashion anti-christ wore.

Pauly C is your favorite writer's favorite non-writer living in Maryland. You can follow his personal Tumblr here, see more of his favorite NBA fashion here and follow him on Twitter here.

  • ROelioGswa


  • Swagless Cristo

    Tim Duncan is a Multi-Millionaire and has 4 Championship Rings, a huge house & multiple cars. Learn to type your words correctly Pauly C, then come back and try again. Fuck Swag.

    • Crave Philly

      And a habitual cheating unloyal wife… Money dont mean shit if yo rider aint riding for ya…

      • squatty

        seen his chick lately? i think he is happier than you will ever be.

    • Nerd

      tim duncan is like if degrassi drake grew up and learned to walk

    • Ghost of Jam Master Jay

      You are wild flagrant with your capitalization. Check yourself before you disrespect Pauly C aka Renaldo Balkman.

    • DD

      Homie is mad Tacky. Dudes rockin like fat Jareds 92 grudge clothes n shit

  • patFD

    The way the guy shaves his facial hair indicates right off the bat that he’s totally clueless.

  • Doomtronzer0

    My eyes. They bleed. They hurt.

  • B-hyphen

    “swag of a 90’s landlord” had me fuckin dyin! hahaha

  • rambo

    Fuck you Tim Duncan is a G

  • squatty

    Timmy can do whatever he wants

    • TJay

      Pauly C*

  • moeskibum23

    I mean, who really cares…

  • Swag Ripken

    “Murdered out black auntie pajamas.” I’m dead.

  • FinancePapi

    I went to high school/college with ol girl on the left. She got a donkey. Believe that.

  • DD


  • Willard Jéha

    I prefer Tim over Westbrook like…. everyday of the week

  • Cleareye

    Duncan has to be one of the most universally respected athletes ever- in any sport.

  • TJay

    slide 2 had me crying

  • Angela Dahlia Garcia

    This article reads to me as COMPLIMENTARY to Tim Duncan, if anything. You’re making fun of him for being smart and not being a superficial, egocentric person like the rest of the NBA stars?

    Again–just another reason why I LOVE TIM DUNCAN; no matter WHAT happens! Keep being yourself, Timmy

  • Anonymous

    He dresses like he fucked Erykah Badu

  • Dolphin Starbeam

    Even more confusing than Duncan’s clothes are all the prollys and urs in the descriptions. Was this written by an 11 year old white girl on Twitter? If so than I understand.

  • Kurt Frazier

    Love this article on Tim. Swagless oh hell yes, do I care oh hell no.